Being the child everyone sees as successful can feel like a blessing, but it can also come with a lot of pressure. When a family sees you as the one who is doing well, they may start expecting more from you. They may believe you always have money, always have answers and are always in a position to help.
At first, you may feel proud that your family trusts you. But over time, the expectations can become heavy. You may start feeling responsible for your parents, siblings and even other relatives. When someone needs school fees, rent, medical bills or help starting a business, you may be one of the first people they call.
The difficult part is that people may not always understand that being successful does not mean having unlimited money. You can have a good job and still have your own bills, savings goals, debts and plans for the future. You may also be trying to build your own life while helping everyone else.
This pressure can make some people afraid to say no. They may feel guilty when they cannot help. They may even spend money they were saving for an important goal because they do not want their family to think they have changed.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to support your family. In many African families, helping one another is an important part of life. But helping others should not mean destroying your own financial future.
It is also important for families to understand that the “successful child” is still a person. They get tired. They have problems. They have dreams and responsibilities too.
Being successful should not mean becoming the family’s emergency bank account. It should mean having the freedom to build a good life while helping others in a way that you can actually afford.
Sometimes, saying, “I cannot help right now,” is not selfish. It is simply being honest about what you can manage.
Brenna AKARABO
RADIOTV10