In Rwanda today, the image of a modern woman is one of confidence, ambition, and independence. She’s climbing the corporate ladder, running businesses, sitting in boardrooms, and even leading national institutions. But behind the polished smiles and celebrated achievements, there’s a lingering question: Can Rwandan women truly balance career and family, or is that just a well-packaged lie?
This question isn’t just theoretical. It speaks to the everyday reality of thousands of Rwandan women teachers, lawyers, nurses, journalists, civil servants, and entrepreneurs who are trying to juggle two full-time roles: being excellent at their jobs and being the heartbeat of their homes. Society expects them to succeed at both, but is that fair? Is it sustainable in the long run? Can women honestly give 100% to both without compromising their well-being?
The Modern Rwandan Woman
Rwanda has made remarkable progress when it comes to gender equality. It proudly boasts the highest percentage of women in parliament globally. Women occupy key positions in ministries, companies, and even command roles in the military. This is something worth celebrating. The visibility of women in leadership roles has become a symbol of progress and hope.
But what is less talked about is the double burden these women carry. A woman might spend her day overseeing a critical national project or running a bank department, only to return home in the evening to cook dinner, supervise homework, bathe the kids, and clean the house. This juggling act becomes even more intense when you factor in commuting, community obligations, and religious or family expectations.
In most Rwandan homes, even in middle-class or educated circles, domestic labor remains largely the woman’s responsibility. There’s still a deeply rooted belief that no matter how high she climbs in her career; she must remain the primary caregiver and home manager. The pressure is subtle, yet constant and often comes from family members, in-laws, or even other women.
The question then becomes: If we applaud women for excelling professionally, why don’t we adjust the expectations placed on them at home?
The Invisible Load
Balancing career and family aren’t about having it all. It’s about carrying it all. And the invisible emotional and mental load Rwandan women bear is often underestimated. A woman must remember doctor appointments, birthdays, school fees, shopping lists, and emotional care, on top of meeting deadlines and attending work meetings. She becomes the family manager while also being an employee or employer.
This “mental load” can lead to burnout, anxiety, and emotional exhaustion. Many women suffer in silence, fearing judgment if they admit they’re overwhelmed. They feel the need to maintain the image of being strong and capable, because vulnerability is often seen as weakness. Yet, inside, many are barely holding it together.
Some argue that the solution is time management. “She just needs to organize herself better,” they say. But this assumes the problem lies with the woman and not with the system around her. In truth, balance is not just a personal responsibility. it’s a shared societal challenge.
What About the Men?
Let’s be honest. For Rwandan women to truly balance career and family, men must step up. Many Rwandan men still cling to the traditional idea that their job ends at providing financially, while women must handle everything else. Even among younger, educated men, the idea of cooking, washing dishes, or taking care of a sick child still feels like a “favor” rather than a shared responsibility.
Yet, more and more Rwandan men are starting to question these old norms. In some homes, husbands are picking up the kids, preparing meals, or even stepping back temporarily in their careers to support their wives. These men understand that supporting a woman’s career is not emasculating, it’s empowering for the whole family.
Children who grow up seeing both parents sharing responsibilities learn valuable lessons about partnership, gender equality, and mutual respect. They carry those values forward into their own relationships in the future.
The Role of Employers and Society
Beyond the home, the workplace has a huge role to play in whether women can truly find balance. Progressive companies are starting to offer flexible working hours, parental leave (for both mothers and fathers), on-site childcare, and mental health support. But these practices are still rare in Rwanda.
Many women are afraid to ask for flexibility at work for fear of being seen as less committed. Maternity leave, although legally protected, can sometimes be seen as a burden to employers. And very few companies offer paternity leave, which would encourage men to take on more family responsibilities.
If Rwanda is serious about empowering women, it’s not enough to put them in leadership. The environment must be conducive for them to thrive in all areas of life without being overworked, under-supported, or burnt out. National policies that support families, parental involvement, and work-life balance are not just progressive, they are necessary.
The Myth of “Having It All”
One of the most dangerous lies women are told is that they must “have it all” a thriving career, a perfect home, happy kids, and a loving partner, without showing signs of struggle. But the truth is, something always gives. Sometimes it’s sleep. Sometimes it’s mental health. Sometimes it’s career growth. Other times, it’s precious moments with family.
Rwandan women are not superheroes. They are human. And like all humans, they need support, rest, grace, and partnership. They shouldn’t have to prove their worth by working twice as hard at everything.
So, Can They Balance Both?
Yes, Rwandan women can balance career and family but not alone. Not without supportive partners. Not without flexible workplaces. Not without shifting societal expectations. Not without real conversations about unpaid labor, emotional burden, and the illusion of perfection.
The narrative shouldn’t be about whether women are doing enough. They already are. It should be about what everyone else men, employers, policymakers, and communities is doing to support them.
Final Thoughts
Balancing family and career are not just a women’s issue, it’s a national development issue. When women are supported to succeed in both areas, families are stronger, businesses perform better, and society benefits as a whole.
It’s time to move beyond the myth that balance is a personal miracle and start treating it as a collective responsibility. Because when a Rwandan woman thrives, Rwanda thrives too.
Brenna AKARABO
RADIOTV10
