Sometimes, the people around us are fighting battles we cannot see. Someone who jokes with friends, goes to work, attends school, or posts happily on social media may be struggling with deep emotional pain. When someone begins to feel that life is no longer worth living, they may not know how to ask for help. This is why learning how to support someone who is suicidal is so important.
The first thing to understand is that you do not need to have all the answers to help someone. Sometimes, being present and willing to listen can make a difference.
Listen Without Judging
When someone tells you they no longer want to live, your first reaction may be fear, confusion, or shock. You may want to tell them to stop thinking negatively or remind them of all the good things they have in life. Although your intentions may be good, these responses can make the person feel that their pain is not being understood.
Instead, give them room to speak. Listen without interrupting, blaming, or comparing their struggles to someone else’s. You can say, “I’m sorry you’re going through this,” “Thank you for trusting me,” or “I’m here to listen, and you don’t have to face this alone.”
You do not need to solve every problem they share. Sometimes, people need someone who will listen without making them feel weak for struggling.
Take Their Words Seriously
If someone says they want to die, wishes they could disappear forever, or believes everyone would be better off without them, do not automatically assume they are joking or seeking attention.
Ask them directly and calmly, “Are you thinking about suicide?” Asking this question does not put the idea into someone’s mind. Instead, it can give them an opportunity to speak honestly about what they are experiencing.
If they say yes, listen carefully and ask whether they are in immediate danger or have made plans to hurt themselves. You do not have to manage the situation alone. Help them connect with a mental health professional, a trusted family member, or another person who can provide appropriate support.
Stay Close and Help Them Find Support
If someone is thinking about suicide, let them know that their life matters and that help is available, even if they cannot see a way forward at that moment.
Offer practical support. You could accompany them to a health centre, help them contact a counsellor, or check in regularly through calls and messages. Rather than saying, “Let me know if you need anything,” offer something specific, such as, “Can I sit with you for a while?” or “Would you like me to help you find someone to talk to?”
If they may act on suicidal thoughts soon, have already harmed themselves, or have taken something dangerous, seek emergency medical help immediately. Stay with them if it is safe to do so, involve a trusted person who can help, and reduce access to anything they might use to hurt themselves, when this can be done safely. Do not promise to keep an immediate danger secret.
Avoid Making Them Feel Guilty
Telling someone that suicide is selfish, that they should be grateful for what they have, or that they are hurting their family can increase their feelings of guilt and isolation.
Similarly, telling them to “be strong” or “just think positively” may make them feel that their suffering is their fault. Instead, remind them that they deserve support, even when life feels overwhelming. Their pain is real, but they do not have to face it alone. Recovery may take time, and supporting them means being patient without expecting them to feel better immediately.
Remember That You Cannot Do Everything Alone
Supporting someone who is suicidal can also be emotionally difficult for the person offering help. You may worry about saying the wrong thing or feel responsible for keeping them safe.
Remember that you can care deeply about someone without becoming their only source of support. Encourage professional help and involve other trusted people when necessary. If you are worried about their safety, do not carry that responsibility by yourself.
Continue checking in, even after the immediate crisis has passed. A simple message asking how they are doing, an invitation to spend time together, or a willingness to listen can remind someone that they have not been forgotten.
A Final Reminder
You may never fully understand what another person is going through, but you can choose to respond with kindness rather than judgment. You do not need perfect words. You need to be willing to listen, take their feelings seriously, and help them find support.
If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, please reach out to a trusted person or a health professional. If there is immediate danger, seek emergency medical assistance. Sometimes, the most important thing you can tell someone is this: “You matter to me. I’m glad you’re here, and I want to help you get through this.”
Brenna AKARABO
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