In many African families, being the first-born is often seen as both a blessing and a burden. While parents may be proud to have their first child, that child usually carries heavy responsibilities that others may never fully understand.
From a young age, first-borns are expected to lead, support, and even sacrifice for the sake of their younger siblings and the entire family. This creates an untold pressure that shapes their lives in many ways.
One of the biggest pressures first-borns face is the expectation to be role models. Parents and relatives often remind them that their younger siblings are “watching and learning.” This means that mistakes are not easily forgiven, and first-borns grow up with the fear of disappointing their families. They are expected to always set the right example in school, in behavior, and later in life choices such as career and marriage. This can create stress, as first-borns feel they have little freedom to explore or make errors like other children.
Another major responsibility is financial support. In many African households, especially where resources are limited, the first-born is expected to succeed and then carry the family forward. When they get a job, there is an unspoken rule that they will help pay school fees, provide for their parents, and sometimes even take care of extended family members. While this shows love and unity, it can also delay their own personal dreams and goals. Many first-borns sacrifice things like further education, starting a business, or enjoying their youth, just to make sure their family is stable.
The first-born also often becomes a “second parent” to the younger siblings. When parents are busy working, farming, or running businesses, the responsibility of guiding, cooking for, or even disciplining the younger ones falls on the eldest child. While this teaches leadership, it can also create feelings of missing out on childhood. Some first-borns grow up too quickly, carrying adult responsibilities long before they are ready.
Cultural expectations make this pressure even heavier. In some African traditions, the first-born, especially if it is a boy, he carries the family name and legacy. If it is a girl, she may be expected to mature fast, help with household duties, and prepare her siblings for the future. Society praises them when they succeed, but criticizes them more harshly when they fail. This can create silent struggles with anxiety, self-doubt, and stress.
However, despite the untold pressure, many first-borns rise to the challenge. They develop strong leadership skills, resilience, and a deep sense of responsibility. These qualities often make them successful in their careers and family life later on. Still, it is important for parents and society to recognize the heavy load placed on them and provide support instead of endless demands.
In the end, being the first-born in African families is a journey filled with pride, sacrifice, and hidden struggles. Their story is not just about pressure but also about strength. Yet, their sacrifices should not be taken for granted. Families must remember that first-borns, too, deserve space to grow, dream, and simply be children before being leaders.
Brenna AKARABO
RADIOTV10
