Muri iyi minsi uzabona benshi barara amajoro bategura ubukwe bukabakeraho, ariko biragoye kubona uwarara ijoro ari guhabwa inama z’urushako, zizamufasha kurwubaka rugakomera. Umuhanga mu bijyanye n’imibanire y’abashakanye, avuga ko iyaba abategura urushako bahabwaga agaciro kurusha abategura ibirori by’ubukwe, byaba byiza kurushaho.
Umuhanga mu mibanire y’abashakanye, Sannan Khan mu nyandiko dukesha ikinyamakuru The New Times, yagaragaje ko abagiye gushinga urugo muri iyi minsi, bita cyane ku myitegure y’ubukwe buba umunsi umwe, ariko “ntibihagije kuko uwo munsi ari ho urushako rutangirira.”
Avuga ko “bamara umwanya munini bahitamo imyambaro, aho bazakorera ubukwe, uburyo bazifotoza, kurimbisha ahantu, iby’abazitabira ibirori, indirimbo zizaririmbwa n’ibindi biranga ibyo birori.”
Avuga ko rwose ibi ari ngombwa kuko ubukwe ari umunsi w’agaciro. Gusa akavuga ko abantu batibuka ko ibyo birori bimara amasaha, mu gihe urushako ruba rugomba kumara ubuzima bwose bw’abo bashakanye basigaje ku Isi.
Akavuga ko aha rero ari ho abagiye gushinga urugo, bakwiye kwitondera.
Imwe mu mpamvu zituma abagiye kurushinga bita cyane ku munsi w’ubukwe, baba bavuga ko ari “ibirori bibaho rimwe mu buzima” ku buryo baba bagomba kubyishimamo bihebuje. Ibi rwose ni ngombwa, ariko nanone bikaba agahomamunwa kuba ibi birori bihabwa agaciro kurusha imibanire y’abagiye kubukorana.
Indi mpamvu ni igitutu cy’umuryango mugari wa none. Abashaka muri iki gihe, bita cyane ku mafoto n’amashusho, imyambarire, kimwe n’ibindi byose bizatuma uwo munsi ugaragara neza uko babyifuza kandi bikanogera amaso y’abazabibona.
Imbuga nkoranyambaga na zo ntizoroheye abantu, zikomeza kuzamura igitutu. Umusore n’inkumi bagiye kurushinga, babanza kureba ibindi birori by’abababanjirije, barebeye ku mashusho n’amafoto biri ku mbuga nkoranyambaga, bakifuza ibyiza kurusha ibyo babonye.
Ariko ntabwo urushako rwakomezwa n’amafoto cyangwa amashusho.
Iyi nzobere, muri iyi nyandiko yayo, ivuga ko ibiganiro bikorwa muri iki gihe ku ngo zitandukana mu Rwanda, bidakwiye gutera ubwoba abakinjira mu rushako cyangwa abiyemeje kurwinjiramo. Ariko nanone bikwiye kubibutsa ko urushako rudashobora gukomezwa no kuba ubukwe bwabaye agatangaza. Abakoze ubukwe bashobora kugira ibirori byiza, ariko nyuma y’amezi macye bagatangira kugirana ibibazo, kuko babukoze batiteguye bihagije nk’abantu bagiye kwinjirana mu buzima.
Aha rero ni ho bigaragaza ko abo gutegura urushako, ari bo bakenewe kurusha abategura ubukwe.
Utegura ubukwe, afasha mu guhuza ibikorwa by’umunsi umwe. Uwigisha umubano agafasha abantu kwinjira mu rushako rw’ubuzima bwose.
Utanga inama z’urushako, ntabwo akwiye kuba umuntu runaka wabyigiye. Ashobora kuba umuntu usheshakanguhe, wumva neza ibibazo biba mu bashakanye. Ashobora kuba umubyeyi, umujyanama, uwabyigiye, uwo mu idini, cyangwa uwagize amahirwe yo kurwubaka rugakomera. Muri macye agomba kuba umuntu wumva ibibazo byo mu ngo.
Abagiye gushaka ntibakwiye kureba gusa umuntu bigaragara ko hari icyo yagezeho. Bagomba gushaka inama zituruka mu bantu banyuranye, barimo abubatse icyubahiro muri rubanda, abafite ukwihangana, abazi ibijyanye n’ibiganiro (communication), abashoboye kubahiriza inshingano zabo, ndetse n’ufite uburambe mu gutunga urugo.
Ubujyanama bugomba gufasha abagiye kurushingana kuganira ku byo amarangamutima yabo ahisha.
Mbere yo kurushinga, umusore n’umukobwa, bagomba kwicara bakaganira ntaguhishanya, ibijyanye n’indangagaciro, ibijyanye n’imikoreshereze y’amafaranga, ibijyanye no kuganira (communication), ibidakwiye mu miryango, ibijyanye n’amakimbiranye, ibijyanye n’abana, inshingano, ibyo bombi bifuza kugeraho, ndetse n’intego z’ahazaza. Ibi biganiro ntibigomba na rimwe kwirengagizwa.
Rimwe na rimwe ni na ngombwa ko ibyo baganiriye, bishyirwa mu nyandiko. Abagiye kurushinga, bakwiye kwicara, ubundi bakandika ibibazo by’ingenzi. Dufite izihe ndangagaciro? Ni gute dukoresha amafaranga? Uruhare rw’imiryango yacu mu buzima bwacu ni uruhe? Ni gute tuzakemura amakimbirane? Ni iki buri umwe yiteze muri mugenzi we? Tuzarera abana bacu gute? Inshingano za buri muntu zizaba izihe?
Iyo ibi bibazo bigaragajwe neza, amarangamutima ajya ku ruhande akabererekera ibiganiro, akaba ari byo biza imbere. Ibitekerezo by’ukuri bya byuri mu muntu bikagaragara, ukuri ku buzima bwa buri muntu kukajya hanze, ubundi ahazaza akaba ari ho hivugira.
Benshi mu rubyiruko ntibaha agaciro ubujyanama kuko baba batazi ko ari ngombwa. Baba bitaye cyane ku gutegura ubukwe, ariko ntibategure urushako. Baba bazi gafotozi mwiza uzabafata amafoto, ariko guhitamo uwazabaha icyerekezo cy’urushako rwabo, ntibamwibuke.
Abandi ntibaha agaciro ubujyanama kuko urukundo rubahuma amaso. Ntibifuza kubona hagati yabo bashwanye. Ntibifuza gutinyukana ngo babazanye ibibazo bikomeye kuko baba bafite ubwoba ko urukundo rwabo rwahungabana.
Yego urukundo ni ingenzi, ariko urukundo rutateguwe rushobora kutaramba. Urushako rurenze ibyo kuba umuntu yiyumvamo undi. Rusaba gukura mu mutwe, kwihangana, kwizerana, kubabarirana, kuganira, ndetse no guhuza icyerekezo.
Abagiye gushakana, ntibakwiye kumva ko ubujyanama buzarogoya urukundo rwabo. Ubujyanama bwiza ntabwo buyobora ibyiyumviro by’abagiye gushakana. Ahubwo bubafasha kubona ibyo bakwiye kugendera kure. Bubaha ururimi rw’ibiganiro bizabafasha.
Mbere y’ubukwe, hakwiye kubaho igihe gihagije cyo kwitegura. Atari igihe cyo gutegura ibirori by’ubukwe, ahubwo n’ubuzima bwa nyuma y’ibyo birori.
Iyi nzobere, yageneye ubutumwa abifuza kurushinya iti “kora ibyatuma urushako rwawe ruramba, atari ukwishimira ibirori gusa. Wikubakira ubukwe bwawe ku kubugereranya n’ubundi, ihangana, imbuga nkoranyambaga n’amafoto. Ubakira urushako rwawe ku kuri, ku ndangagaciro, ubujyanama, no kwizerana.”
Asoza inyandiko ye agira ati “A beautiful wedding can create memories. But wise preparation can save a marriage.” Cyangwa se “bukwe bwiza busiga ibyiza byo kuzibuka, ariko kwitegura neza bishobora kurokora urushako.”
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