Umwana ni uw’umuryango! Wite ku mwana wese nk’uwawe!
Mu minsi ishize twasangiye ubutumwa bwihariye ku bashakanye, none ndagarutse ngo tuganire no ku mugisha udasanzwe w’abashakanye, wo kwitwa ‘Ababyeyi’.
Umwana ni ‘umugisha’! Nagira ngo munkundire tujyane mu rugendo rwe rwa mbere kugira ngo twumve ukuntu ntakiruta umwana! Uko agerageza gupfumbata urutoki rw’umubyeyi mu gapfunsi ke k’umwana ukivuka; wumva muri we umutekano.
N’umubyeyi kandi nawe ni uko, yifuza kumuhora hafi. Yemwe n’iyo amaze gukura, umwana akomeza kuba umwana imbere y’umubyeyi.
Umubyeyi akunda umwana we kurusha uko akunda ubuzima bwe bwite! Nta wakwemeza ko igihe cyose biba binoze. Akenshi umubyeyi ayoborwa n’igishyika cyo kumutegura no kumutegurira ejo hazaza, atinya ko hari icyagirira umwana we nabi. Ibi bikaba bishobora kugaragarira mu kugenzura abana cyane, kubacyaha no guhora abibutsa gukora neza kurushaho.
N’ubwo hari abashobora kubibona nabi batyo, nta na rimwe umubyeyi abigirira inyungu ze bwite, nta n’ubwo abigirana umutima mubi.
Hari ubwo umuntu yifuza ngo iyaba bishoboka, abana bakabasha kwiyumva nk’uko ababyeyi biyumva! Igishyika cy’ababyeyi, amajoro barara badasinziriye, amasengesho n’ineza babasabira ubutitsa, n’ibindi byose bagomba kwigomwa! Ahari wenda ntibabona igitutu cy’ababyeyi cyangwa amategeko gusa! Ahubwo, basobanukirwa urukundo n’ineza batakura ku wundi, bibiherekeza.
Uruhare rw’ababyeyi
Muzi ko kenshi mbandikira mbaganiriza ibijyanye n’umuryango. Impamvu nta yindi, ni uko nemera ko ubumwe bw’umuryango utekanye butanga umusaruro mu kugira igihugu gitekanye.
Iyo nandika rero, ntabwo ari uko mba mfite ibisubizo byose, ahubwo ni ukugira ngo tuganire kandi tujye inama.
Uyu munsi nifuje ko tuganira ku kurera, turerera mu muryango utekanye, turera abakotanira u Rwanda!
Kuba umubyeyi cyangwa kurera, ntabwo twahamya ko ari inshingano cyangwa umuhamagaro buri wese abamo bimworoheye!
Nk’uko bikunze kuvugwa, “ntawe utagira inenge.”
Nk’uko umwana adahitamo aho avuka, ni nako ababyeyi badahitamo abana babo, nta n’ubushobozi dufite bwo guhindura abana abo twifuza ko baba bo!
Ese birashoboka kurera neza? Ese ubundi kurera neza ni ukuhe?
Muri rusange umuntu agirwa no kwizera ndetse agahora ashakisha icyiza, ariko ntibinamubuza kugira impungenge.
Muri iyi si yabaye umudugudu, ugengwa n’ikoranabuhanga, murabizi ko hari ubwo umuntu ashobora kuba ahantu hatandukanye icyarimwe, akitwara nk’abaho, akagira imico y’abaho nyamara atahageze! Ibiteye impungenge ni byinshi cyane rero, ku burere bw’abana.
Izi mpungenge zituma umuntu yibaza ati ese twarera dute abanyarwanda buzuye; bazavamo abayobozi beza b’ejo, bazakunda igihugu bakakirutisha ibindi byose?
Ibibazo nk’ibi, ntabwo tukigira umwanya wo kubyibaza, ahubwo abenshi duhugijwe no kureba ibigenwa n’ikoranabuhanga bigaragaza abahanga kurusha abandi, twirengagije ko igihugu kizima cyubakira ku cyerekezo kizima, ariko ko kigomba kugira n’abaturage bazima bubakitse, bafite imitekerereze mizima, bazatwara cya cyerekezo, bagasohoza imihigo.
Dukunze gusubiramo kenshi ko umwana ari uw’umuryango. Ariko twongere dusubize amaso inyuma turebe uko umuryango wa none umeze. Ese umuryango uracyari wa wundi uhumuriza umwana cyangwa uramuhinda? Cyane cyane iyo atagera ku byo ategerejweho?
Nk’abanyarwanda twemera ko ishyaka no kwihesha agaciro binyuza imfura ahakomeye! Mu kubitoza abato ariko twibuke ko kubumva no kubakosoza ineza ari ingenzi! Abana bakeneye ubumva, akababa hafi, bakagendana mu rugendo rwo gukura, gukora, gukosa no kwikosora!
Abana iyo bumva badafite ubumva, batitaweho, hari ubita amazina cyangwa abaseka kuko hari uko batandukanye n’abandi bari mu kigero kimwe, n’ibindi bishobora gukomeretsa amarangamutima yabo, hari ubwo bibatera guceceka.
Aka wa mugani uvuga ko ivu rihoze ari ryo ryotsa inzu, tuzirikane ko batazaceceka iteka ryose. Hari abazagaragariza uburakari bwabo, cyangwa se gucika intege, mu guceceka, hari n’abo bizaturikana mu buryo butagira gitangira.
Bikabaviramo kugira imyitwarire mibi yatuma bigirira nabi ubwabo cyangwa se n’umuryango muri rusange.
Uburere budahutaza nibwo bukwiriye n’igihe umwana afite imyitwarire itamenyerewe
Ni koko buri mubyeyi akunda umwana we urukundo rusumba ibindi byose ndetse akumva ari igitangaza kuva akiri umwana muto, kandi ko azavamo umuntu udasanzwe. Iyo biramutse bitagenze uko umubyeyi abyifuza, hari ubwo ababyeyi n’abamurera bihutira kumwita utuzina dusobanura uko bamubona, ibyo bigatera umwana gukura yumva asa n’ubohewe aho hantu.
Umwana ucecetse. Umwana ugoye. Umwana uri hagati na hagati. Umwana ukubagana… aya ni amwe mu mazina rimwe na rimwe akoreshwa mu kuvuga ku myitwarire y’abana kuva bakiri bato; ariko ibi tubivuga twirengagije ko umuntu ari mugari, atasobanurwa n’ijambo rimwe; ibi kandi nabyo biratandukana bitewe n’ubuzima n’imico abantu babamo.
Bitewe n’ikigero cy’imyaka agezemo, umwana ucecetse hari aho afatwa nk’ufite ubumuga, uri hagati na hagati akenshi ntabwo ahabwa agaciro, naho ukunda kugerageza ibintu bishya agafatwa nk’inkubaganyi itumvira, mu gihe urangwa no kutaguma hamwe afatwa nk’ushobora guhungabanya abandi.
Aya mazina yose n’ibyiciro dushyiramo abana hari uko afasha ababyeyi n’abarezi kumva batuje, ariko icyo twirengagiza ni uko akomeretsa amarangamutima y’abana, ndetse akabangamira n’ubwisanzure bufasha mu mikurire yabo. Twibagirwa ko buri mwana afite imiterere ye bwite n’impano ze, kandi n’imyitwarire tubonana abana iba ifite aho ihurira n’imiryango bakomokamo.
Kurera ubwabyo ntabwo twavuga ko bifite ingingo ngenderwaho zidashobora guhinduka.
Umwana w’imfura avukira mu muryango w’ababyeyi bakitoza kurera. Abamukurikiye bagahura n’ababyeyi batangiye kunanirwa, ariko bamaze kugira ubumenyi ku bijyanye no kurera.
Nk’ababyeyi akenshi dushaka ko abana bitwara uko twifuza, tukirengagiza ko n’abakuriye hamwe, mu gihe kimwe, mu buryo bumwe, baba batandukanye.
Ibi ni ukutibwiza ukuri ndetse rimwe na rimwe harimo no kudaha agaciro gakwiye uyu muhamagaro ukomeye wo kurera.
Kwibukiranya gukosoza ineza, kurera kudahutaza, guha umwanya abana tukabumva aho guhora tubibutsa ibitagenda neza ntabwo mbibibutsa kugira ngo mutangire kurera bajeyi, ahubwo ni ukugira ngo twibukiranye ko mu mikurire y’umwana anyura mu byiciro bitandukanye.
Umuhanga Jean Jacques Rousseau yabivuze neza ko abana babona isi mu buryo butandukanye n’abakuze, ko tudakwiye kubasaba kugira imitekerereze nk’iy’abantu bakuru, ko ndetse abana bafite uburyo bwabo bwo gutekereza no kumva ibyo bahura nabyo bijyanye n’imyaka bagezemo. Yongeraho ko turamutse duhaye agaciro ibi tutazongera kwitiranya imyitwarire tubona ku bana ngo tuyisanishe no kuba bafite uburwayi runaka cyangwa ngo tubite abana babi batumvira.
Ibyo twita ubwenge ntabwo biza mu ishusho imwe kuri bose. Wa mwana utarashoboraga kwicara hamwe, uzasanga ari we ushobora kuvamo rwiyemezamirimo udasanzwe. Uwo babonaga nk’umwana ufite ibibazo, ashobora kuvamo umuhanzi w’igitangaza.
Mu miryango no mu mashuri bihutira gushyira abana bose mu byiciro batekereza ko ari byo bizafasha mu kubaherekeza mu mikurire yabo, nyamara ahubwo birema ubwigunge mu bana, bakumva bahejwe. Ibi bishobora kubatera kugira imyitwarire mibi, nyamara atari uko baremye koko, ahubwo ari uko nk’umuryango twananiwe kubitaho no kubaha umwanya wo kuba abo aribo.
Twakora iki? Tubigenze dute?
Ababyeyi bakwiye kwiga gukosoza ineza, bagahana batagamije gukoza isoni abana, bakabayobora baha agaciro n’umwanya ibyo abana bifuza n’uko biyumva. Dukeneye kubaka umuryango udaheza, wumva abawo, ukabaha umwanya wo kubaho batekanye.
Abana bakwiye kwemererwa umwanya wo kwishakisha no kwimenya, bakagira umwanya wo gukosa no gukosorwa. Umwana ntakwiye na rimwe kugira undi agereranywa nawe cyangwa ngo ahore yumva gusa amagambo amutera kwishidikanyaho, ahubwo akeneye amagambo meza amwubakamo icyizere cyo kuzaba umuntu ushoboye.
Nk’ababyeyi urukundo dukunda abana ntirukwiye kuduhuma amaso ngo dukomeze kubabundikira. Ni ngombwa gutekereza uko tubafasha guhangana cyangwa kwirinda ibyabagora mu buzima.
Ku bw’urukundo nkunda umuryango munyemerere mbasigire ubu butumwa
Umwana ufite uburere bwiza ntabwo ari umwana warinzwe ibibi cyangwa utarahuye n’ubuzima bugoye, ahubwo ni umwana weretswe urukundo, agatozwa kugira impuhwe, kwigirira icyizere, kugira inzozi zagutse n’ishyaka. Byongeye kandi akigishwa ko gukosa atari iherezo ry’ubuzima, ko ahubwo akwiye kubikuramo isomo rimwubaka, rikamufasha guhindura imyitwarire.
Kuri mwebwe abato bacu, hari igihe mwumva ababyeyi babahoza ku nkeke, babagenzura n’ibindi mushobora kumva bibangamye, ariko ntabwo ariko biri. Byose mujye mubibonamo urukundo n’inararibonye ababyeyi bashobora kuba babarusha.
Bibaye ari ibishoboka ntacyo ababyeyi batakora kibizeza ko muzagira ubuzima bwiza butagira ingorane, ariko ntabwo ari uko ubuzima buteye. Uruhare rwanyu ni ngombwa mu kubaka ubuzima bwanyu.
Ibi mushobora guhitamo kubifata nk’umutwaro uremereye mudashoboye gutwara cyangwa nk’impano y’ijuru n’amahirwe yo kubasha kwiyoborera ubuzima bufite intego, mufite n’ababibafashamo babakunda.
Namwe ababyeyi, nifuje kongera kubibutsa ko iyo “Akabuto gatewe mu gitaka cyiza giteguwe neza, kagahabwa iby’ingenzi byose, karakura kakavamo igiti cy’inganzamarumbo kitanyeganyezwa n’ikibonetse cyose.”
Niba koko twifuza kurera abana bazavamo abanyarwanda bashoboye, badaterwa ubwoba n’ingorane z’ubuzima, ahubwo bahora bashakisha, batekereza icyazana impinduka nziza, dukwiye kububakamo ubudaheranwa; ibyo bakora ntibakabikoreshwe n’ubwoba, ahubwo bayoborwe n’ amatsiko aho gushaka kwisanisha n’abandi cyangwa kwiyerekana.
Nsoza ubu butumwa nagira ngo nongere nibutse ko umuryango ari ishingiro ry’igihugu. Ubudasa bw’igihugu buhera mu muryango! Nk’uko natangiye mbivuga, ubumwe bw’umuryango n’ubw’igihugu, bwatweretse ko dushyize hamwe dukora ibirenze ibyo twifuza kugeraho. Buri wese yite ku mwana wese nk’uwe, tubyare kandi turerere u Rwanda abato bazakurana ishyaka ryo kurukotanira.
Ndabashimiye byimazeyo uko mwakiriye ubu butumwa.
Mbifurije umunsi mwiza wo gukunda igihugu.
Ubutumwa bwa Nyakubahwa Madamu Jeannette Kagame
