In many African communities, turning 30 is seen as a milestone but for those who are single at that age, it can feel more like a deadline. “When are you getting married?” becomes a regular question from aunties, neighbours, even strangers. It’s like there’s a timer ticking loudly in the background. But why is there so much pressure on people especially women to be married by 30?
Let’s be real: society in Africa often links success to family life. If you’re 30 and single, some people assume something is “wrong” with you. Maybe you’re “too picky,” or “not serious,” or the worst one “cursed.” But the truth is far from that. In today’s world, many people are focusing on building careers, improving their mental health, or simply waiting for the right partner instead of rushing into a marriage just to please society.
Have you ever been at a family gathering and felt the stares or heard the whispers about your single status? It’s not just you. Many young Africans feel this pressure. Parents often worry they won’t see grandchildren. Friends are settling down, and social media is full of wedding photos. It’s easy to start questioning yourself. But remember, everyone’s journey is different.
Interestingly, men don’t face the same level of pressure. A 32-year-old man is often told he still has time, but a 32-year-old woman is warned she’s “getting late.” This double standard adds to the frustration and unfair judgment many women face.
But being single at 30+ is not a failure, it can actually be a powerful time. You’re more mature, you know what you want, and you’ve learned from past relationships. You have more control over your life and decisions. There’s freedom in that.
It’s also important to understand that marriage isn’t the only path to happiness. Some people marry young and regret it. Others wait and find the right partner later. And some choose not to marry at all and that’s okay. Life doesn’t follow one script.
So, to anyone who is in their 30s and single: you’re not alone, and you’re not behind. Whether you’re dating, healing, focusing on your goals, or simply enjoying your own company, your story matters. Don’t let the noise from society drown out your truth.
Let’s change the narrative. Instead of asking, “Why aren’t you married yet?” maybe we should ask, “Are you happy?” Because in the end, that’s what truly counts.
Brenna AKARABO
RADIOTV10
